Category Archives: environment

animal activism, animal rights, art, environment, humor, vegan

ON THE “DON’T READ” LIST

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Food activists, if you feel your positivity slipping a bit, here’s some books you don’t want to read:

1) “Meatonomics: How the Rigged Economics of Meat and Dairy Make You Consume Too Much” by David Robinson Simon.

2) “Whitewash: The Disturbing Truth About Cow’s Milk and Your Health” by Joseph Keon.

3) “Slaughterhouse: The Shocking Story of Greed, Neglect and Inhumane Treatment Inside the U.S. Meat Industry” by Gail Eisnitz

4) “Green is the New Red: The Inside Account of a Social Movement Under Siege” by Will Potter

5) “Comfortably Unaware: What We Choose To Eat Is Killing the Planet and Us” by Richard Oppenlander.

Each of these books in their own ways can scare and depress almost anybody in the veg world, or, for that matter, in the “real world.”

Let’s start with “Meatonomics,” which is not so much scary or disgusting as it is infuriating and frustrating. This jaw-grinder shows how the animal foods industry is totally ripping us off. You think the oil industry has it good with the feds giving them $10 billion in subsidies every year? Well, the animal food industry gets $38 billion in annual federal subsidies and that price tag doesn’t include all the environmental damage they cause.

Part of those tax-payer dollars go (of course) into corporate coffers. But another part of those tax dollars go to keeping the cost of animal foods relatively low. And those cheap prices for meat, dairy and eggs and relatively high prices for fruits and vegetables help keep the whole meat-eating thing in America going strong.

If you read that book (which I don’t advise) you will realize, “We have met the enemy and the enemy is the $1 hamburger.”

Another book which should be strictly avoided is the dreaded “Whitewash,” which is about the horror we euphemistically call the “dairy industry,” and how drinking milk, eating cheese and the rest can impact human health. A definite “don’t read,” unless you’re still eating cheese.

Next is “Slaughterhouse.” That book has been sitting on my shelf in the living room unopened for about two years. The reason I’m scared to look at it is that the very worst, most disgusting animal abuse described in “Eating Animals” by Jonathan Safran Foer came from Gail Einitz’s “Slaughterhouse.”

“Green is the New Red” is another book that should be blacklisted by depressed vegans. In this book you’ll find out how animal rights activists who have engaged in nothing more than protesting, making speeches and property destruction have been tried and convicted in federal court as “eco-terrorists,” and are, as I write this, serving sentences in prison – some as long as 20 years!

“Comfortably Unaware” is a devastating book if you worry about the habitability of the planet. If you (stupidly) read this book the way I did you’ll acquire such handy information as “During every one second of time in just the United States alone, 89,000 pounds of excrement is produced by the chickens, turkeys, pigs, sheep, goats and cows raised and killed for us to eat.” You’ll learn how a big portion of global warming is caused by the livestock industry (more than the transportation sector.) You’ll also get the troubling realization that there’s actually no such thing as “sustainable livestock production” and that grass-fed cows produce twice as much methane as factory-farmed cows.

Ok, so maybe you’ve already read these books and you’re depressed as hell. What to do? As a person who is now Uncomfortably Aware, you’d be perfect to leaflet for Vegan Outreach! If you happen to live in a big city, it’s quite possible that they have a group of VO pamphleteers in your area. If not maybe you can start a group.

The great thing about leafleting is you’re actually doing something. Once you’re out there handing out leaflets you’ll quickly learn that the most successful leafleters are happy and if they’re not happy, they act happy. Acting happy can often lead to the real thing and it can lead to spreading the vegan word.

Another thing you might try is drawing vegan cartoons and posting them on Facebook. It can put you in a good mood. Well, it can also put you in a bad mood if nobody likes them. OK, don’t draw vegan cartoons.

I think the best joy-generator (besides large checks for money arriving in the mail) is exercise. I love, love, love that. Of course, there’s always vegan chocolate cake (Thank you Colleen Patrick Goudreau), vegan pizza, avocado sushi roll, lentil enchiladas, tofu lasagna and on and on and on.

Go vegan!

— A Vicious Vegan blog post —

animal rights, environment, humor, vegan

A YOGA STUDIO WHO BUTCHERS

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I don’t trust yoga studios. You never know what they’ll do – turn up the heat to 110 degrees or make you stand on your head. Now a New Hampshire yoga studio has come up with something way more heinous than a simple heat wave: a chicken slaughter demonstration.

The Be Well Yoga Studio has joined with a grocer, “The Local Grocer,” to do a “chicken processing class” at Mountain Flower Farm.

Doesn’t Mountain Flower Farm and the Be Well Yoga Studio sound like the nicest places in the world? How about “The Local Grocer?” Just so sweet. Just so local.

Oh no, it’s the “it’s-fine-to-kill-them-as-long-as-you-do-it-in-the-backyard” crowd. But first make them into pets and then kill them. Sort of realizing the horror of that scenario, one urban farmer I know trades her chickens to slaughter with another urban farmer friend. Voila! Nobody’s killing their own pets.

Some bloggers have gotten wind of the yoga chicken killing plot and are asking, hey what about ahimsa, the Hindu/Buddhist/Jainist principle of “Do No Harm?” And what kind of ghoulish yoga studio are you?

I guess they just couldn’t resist the new trend: butchering classes, the rage in quite a few places.

United Poultry Concerns, a group that is, well, concerned about chickens, turkeys and other feathered friends has joined in the protest, circulating this petition. Please sign!

— A Vicious Vegan blog post —

animal rights, art, environment, humor, vegan

SENDING IN THE GIZMOS!

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Since the invention of drones, it was inevitable that someone would come up with a good use for them. That someone turns out to be independent journalist Will Potter who is this week’s Vicious Vegan.

Congratulations Will!

Potter may be doing the impossible – getting around the so-called “ag-gag” laws by taking aerial pictures of factory farms using unmanned drones. Cool huh?

The journalist who’s a Ted fellow and the author of “Green is the New Red,” recently did a $30,000 Kickstart plea for his drone project he’s calling “Drone on the Farm.” He was funded in just five days.

The ag-gag laws which have been passed in some eight states make it illegal to go undercover in factory farms and slaughterhouses and take pictures or make films. It seems, for now, at least, taking photos from the air might be OK.

The “Drone on the Farm” idea hasn’t been warmly received by the animal food industry with some farmers vowing to shoot the things down if they see them. An industry publication called the gizmos “The Death Star(s)” from the movie “Star Wars.”

Potter said he got the idea for DOF from an artist photographer Mishka Henner. Using already-shot publicly-available satellite photos, Henner created a powerful photo exhibt, “Feedlots.” The artist has said he enhanced the color somewhat but the details of the pictures are untouched. The result is beautifully abstract but horrifically troubling of views of giant waste lagoons caused by these facilities.

This week’s Vicious Vegan has said he doesn’t know exactly what the “Drone on the Farm” drones will see, but he allows it might not be pretty.

— A Vicious Vegan blog post —

animal rights, art, environment, vegan

THE FIRST VICIOUS VEGAN AWARD

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The Wadham College food committee is this week’s winner of the Vicious Vegan Award for forcing everybody at the School to go vegan for five days a week!

How great is that?

Wadham is part of the University of Oxford. Yes, the same country that gave us the Beatles, has now given us the Wadham College Food Committee!

At first the group pondered the (somewhat wimpy) suggestion from fourth-year engineering student, James Kenna that the school go vegetarian for four days out of the week. But second-year history student Ben Szreter came to the rescue! He said that to really make a change they should go vegan five days a week!

A motion was made because, the students said, “Reducing the consumption of meat is one of the many steps needed to reduce the effects of climate change…Excessive meat consumption is harmful to the environment and it could also lead to an increased risk of certain illnesses like bowel cancer.”

TELL IT, COMMITTEE!

OK it’s not totally a done deal. Ben told the school paper that he was feeling a little bit of heat: “Five days of vegan food may sound intimidating to students across the country, and many Wadham students I’ve spoken to have said that they would have applied to another college if this policy was in place when they were applying.”

Uh oh. The motion is going to be revisited at the next Wadham Food Committee meeting. Watch this space.

— A Vicious Vegan blog post —

animal rights, art, environment, humor, vegan

CARNIVOROUS COOKING

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My mom to my dad: “You can just stuff it.”

We never ate turkey at my house; we only ate “damn turkey.” The “damn turkey” was the one my mother cooked for various holidays.
Of course, it never occurred to anyone that we actually didn’t have to buy, cook or eat turkey at all. That option was not on our radar.

My mother hated the damn turkey because 1) It was huge; 2) You had to thaw it out in the bathtub; 3) It always needed to cook about two more hours than you thought it did and 4) Probably at a semi-conscious level she realized it was a dead animal.

She was disgusted with the damn turkey’s gizzard and neck and disgusted by the idea of stuffing its body. I think she would have filed for divorce if my father hadn’t agreed to stuff it.

Somehow I remember him sort of wrestling with the damn turkey in the kitchen sink with his arms up to the elbows covered with greasy anonymous gunk. It’s such a truly bizarre idea – putting food into the body cavity of a deceased bird.

I’ve never cooked a damn turkey. Probably my most hated Susie Homemaker experience was making meat loaf: putting the hamburger meat into a bowl, cracking an egg over it, adding some mustard and bread crumbs and squishing up the whole thing with my hands, with the meat mixture oozing out from between my fingers. I’d mold it into a “loaf” or whatever and blanket it with about a half a bottle of ketchup. I couldn’t wait to wash my hands and wash the bowl.

It was appalling but I never allowed myself to fully acknowledge appalling it was. Or to allow myself to think deeply about what I was touching – the ground up flesh of a cow, a cow who was an individual and a cow who had suffered unimaginable pain and fear.

The other meat cooking I despised was chicken. In my pre-vegan days, I would rinse off the chicken breasts with cold water and pull off the skin and the visible fat. But knowing what I know now about how unbelievably filthy chicken meat is, I probably would have wanted to put on a Hazmet suit and use straight bleach to disinfect it.

I don’t know if eggs are as dirty as chicken flesh, but they certainly are nasty. Am I the only one who’s noticed they smell like farts? Even during my meat-eating career, I had little inclination to eat eggs. The only time I liked them was when they were safely disguised in a chocolate mousse or in a crepe.

These days as a vegan, I eat honest chocolate mousse: melted dark chocolate chips, a drip of vanilla and silken tofu blended up in the blender and I’m a happy person for it.

— A Vicious Vegan blog post —

animal rights, environment, humor, vegan

MEN NEED MEAT BALLS

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Yep, the male gender must eat meat balls otherwise, well, their testicles suffer egregiously.

Another thing men need to do at least one or two hours a week is barbecue. And I’m not talking s’mores for the kids or freaking vegetable/tofu kebabs. Manly barbecue, as everyone knows, must feature hot dogs – extra large hot dogs or sausages. Also, please note, cooking a generous slab of steak will send your testosterone through the roof. But remember, if an erection lasts for more than two or three days, you should go to the hospital.

At all times, men must wear as much leather as possible. Belts, shoes, boots, jackets, vests, and if you can find some cool ones, hats. No self-respecting man should ever wear rubber sandals or Keds. And men should never ever wear the most pussy substance on earth: Pleather. (Don’t forget, guys, you also need leather seats in the car and leather furniture in the house. And certainly a real man’s best friend doesn’t wear a nylon collar.)

Speaking of pussy, there are some pussy doctors and researchers out there who say that eating meat balls, hot dogs, corn dogs, sausages and the rest of the manly cuisine causes heart disease. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They say it’s loaded with cholesterol and saturated fat. Blah, blah, blah.

They’ve even said that erectile dysfunction is the first sign of heart disease. One doctor called “ED” the “canary in the coal mine.”

Whatever.

— A Vicious Vegan blog post —

animal rights, environment, humor, vegan

A TRUE CONFESSION

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Contrary to popular opinion, vegans are not the Arnold Schwarzeneggers of self-discipline. Like everyone on the planet we have our battles with our inner brats and sometimes the brats win.

No, I’m not talking about the food. For a lot of vegans it took but a few days to become completely disgusted by the thought of eating animal flesh and/or animal secretions. Vegan food can be really great (except for Boca-Burgers.) I dare anyone to say that cow’s milk tastes better than almond milk!

I’m talking about the other stuff that can trip up even the most dedicated vegan, namely me: This is my confession.

First off since going vegan nearly six years ago, I bought two, not one but two down vests. Yes, I didn’t know at the time that the ducks raised for down are treated as cruelly as any other factory farmed animals. But like the vast majority of meat eaters I didn’t investigate the issue too deeply. In fact, I didn’t investigate it all.

I also bought was a stupid pair of red leather shoes and a stupid wool sweater. In those instances I KNEW animals had suffered egregiously in the process of making those things. But well, I thought I NEEDED them. You see, I had a wedding to go to and my shoes need to match the dress and the sweater? Well, it was on sale.

Obviously I didn’t really need them! I needed them in that spoiled American diva sort of way, the way that’s wrecking the planet. Whoops! The way that’s already wrecked the planet.

Of course, at this point, the sweater’s already gone to the Good Will and the shoes sit unworn in the bottom of my closet. I’d always had this idea that red shoes are happy shoes. It’s not true! Those shoes cry and moan.

I have three or four more vegan misdemeanors: I take a prescription drug in a gelatin capsule (the drug was probably tested on animals) and I eat organic fruits and vegetables, which according to Will Tuttle in his “World Peace Diet,” says, are fertilized by the manure from factory farms. I have a cat that eats cat food with meat, dairy and eggs in it.

Yes, I’ve done these things; some I hope to never do again like the shoes, the vests and the sweater; others I know I will do again, like eating organic and taking the medication. I’m OK with it.

I practice Vicious Veganism at the level that makes sense to me. And I understand it’s the same for others. Maybe the best for you right now is simply Meatless Monday and meatless leftovers for Tuesday.

Go vegan; go vegetarian; go Meatless Monday and whatever part of Tuesday you can manage!

— A Vicious Vegan blog post —

animal rights, environment, humor, vegan

VEGANS AND VEGETARIANS: WORLD WAR III

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What are the differences between vegetarians and vegans? Of course, besides the obvious — vegetarians eat eggs and dairy and vegans don’t. Here’s my list:

Vegetarians have friends and vegans have comrades.

Waiters love vegetarians, vegans? Not so much.

Vegetarians have no idea how many animals are slaughtered for food every year. Vegans know it’s 10 billion land animals in the United States.

Vegetarians think you have to properly combine proteins in order to survive, vegans think you can live happily on pomegranates for the rest of your life. (Both wrong. Read “The Starch Solution” by Dr. John McDougall.)

Vegetarians tend toward the “different strokes for different folks” philosophy. Vegans can get, well, vicious, if they see somebody eating a hot dog.

Vegetarians don’t get too upset about chicken broth hiding in the minestrone soup, vegans DO get upset about chicken broth hiding in the minestrone soup.

Vegetarians don’t worry about their feet going to hell if they wear leather shoes. Vegans have learned to, if not love plastic and canvas footwear, at least get along with it.

Vegetarians hold on to the hope that “cage free” means chickens happily running about in a barnyard. Vegans don’t approve even if your companion chicken is a rescue and you feed its eggs to hungry school children.

Vegetarians look at ice cream and see, well, ice cream. Vegans look at ice cream and see a male dairy calf confused and crying for his mother in the corner of a darkened veal stall.

Vegetarians can go to dinner parties where meat is served without making a big deal out of it. Vegans go to dinner parties where meat is served and do make a big deal out of it, while trying really hard not to make a big deal out of it.

OK enough with the differences. What about the similarities between these two factions of the animal liberation movement?

Both vegetarians and vegans care about animals. Both vegetarians and vegans care about personal and public health. Both vegetarians and vegans care about the environment. And when you think about it, meat-eaters also care about animals, personal and public health and the environment.

Vegans and vegetarians forget that we, too, ate hot dogs, bacon and burgers before giving them up.

Vegans forget that most of us consumed Jamoca Almond Fudge ice cream, Cheez-its and egg nog long before giving those up.

And meat-eaters forget that their vegan and/or vegetarian friend is actually a nice person underneath all that damned proselytizing.

Vegetarianism is REALLY important to the movement. Vegetarianism allows people who have concerns about the animal foods industry to still make a BIG contribution. They save animals and lessen global warming. And even your basic meat, cheese, fish and egg eater can even make a BIG contribution just by refraining from meat on Mondays.

Go vegan! Go vegetarian! Go Meatless Monday!

— A Vicious Vegan blog post —

animal rights, art, environment, humor, vegan

THANKSGIVING REVISITED

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(What not to say on Thanksgiving.)

It’s mid April and while everyone else is thinking about taxes, you, the weirdo vegan is STILL obsessing about Thanksgiving and what’s going to happen in November.

OK, Thanksgiving is tough. What other holiday centers around a dead animal? When people are trying to be endearing or cute, they’ll even call Thanksgiving, “Turkey Day.”

In kindergarten, I remember making turkeys out of apples, toothpicks, marsh mallows, raisins and construction paper for Thanksgiving. Somehow we all got the idea that the turkey was happy. How could a creature with a marsh mallow head be miserable?

No one is ever invited to think deeply about animals raised for food ever, but especially not on Thanksgiving Day. You, the vegan, however, are thinking deeply and it’s painful.

You have to just sit there and watch somebody dismember a turkey right in front of your face. You have to smell it. You have to watch others, people you care about, eat it. You have to see the bones, the skin, the little dots on the skin where the feathers used to be. You have to hear stories about some overweight guy who got thin by eating Subway turkey sandwiches every day. You have to do all this while remembering the sweet turkey Rosie, you met at the Farm Sanctuary two weeks ago — the one who let you pet her head.

Vegan etiquette dictates that on Thanksgiving you sit there in calm silence and politely say, “No thanks,” when they ask if you’d like some flesh or some bloody gravy.

Of course, you don’t have to do anything. You don’t have to be polite. You could jump up and down and call everyone murderers and cannibals or you could not go to Thanksgiving dinner, explaining to your family and friends that you can’t stand to witness their barbarous animal food consumption and that it makes you sick.

But again, talking about cannibalism and your sense of revulsion tends to be quite alienating to people. It burns a lot more bridges than it builds.

Just about anything you say about veganism and animals, veganism and the environment and veganism and health gives people the idea that you want them to do something.

How do you usually feel when someone wants you to do something? Especially when that something they want you to do is something you think is impossible, no fun, odd, maybe dangerous and might even make you fat.

NO WAY. NO HOW. GET OUT OF MY FACE!

Here’s another approach to Thanksgiving. Go and have a good time. Don’t stare at the turkey or the gravy or anything else.

When someone calls you a traitor to the family and the country, you can say, “You know, Grandpa, I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said about Obama the last time we were together and now I think you’re right; deep down he is a socialist and he does want to take everyone’s gun away.

Or if somebody mentions cooking turkey at four in the morning, it might not be a bad idea to express gratitude for all they do to bring the family together. You do that, people might start to think of you as wise, instead of a weirdo lunatic. And if people start thinking of you as wise, that’s a point for the animals, a point for the environment and a point for public health. And if they start thinking of you as sensible, who knows what might happen?

— A Vicious Vegan blog post —

animal rights, art, environment, humor, vegan

LIFE AS A VEGAN DEBBIE DOWNER

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Are you a vegan Debbie Downer?

I know I certainly have been one at times. Take this quiz and find out if you, too, are coming off as a dum-ta-dum-daaaaaaaaaa… a vegan Debbie Downer.

Here are some questions:

1) Do you think it’s fine to talk about climate change, water pollution and/or factory farms at a dinner party?

2) Do think it’s fine to talk about “the obesity epidemic” or “the Type 2 diabetes epidemic” at a dinner party?

3) Have you ever started crying in the meat department of a grocery store?

4) Do you read the whole New York Times news section every day?

5) Have you ever told everybody at a wedding you’re not going to eat the cake because it has eggs and butter in it?

6) Have you ever posted graphic pictures of farm animal cruelty on your Facebook?

7) Have you ever told your children that Chucky Cheese was demonic and they weren’t
allowed to attend any birthday parties there?

8) Have you ever shown “Earthlings” to your party guests? Or have you ever said “If you really loved animals, you’d watch ‘Earthlings’ ”?

9) Have you ever tried to scare or guilt trip someone out of eating something you know is bad?

10) Have you read Gail Eisnitz’s book, “Slaughterhouse” and tried to tell people about it?

11) Do you sadly talk about world hunger or animal suffering to people standing in the grocery checkout?

12) Do you think about what it’s like on a factory farm at night when you should be sleeping?

One “yes” to any of these things could toss you into the Debbie Downer vegan camp. I’m not saying these are wrong things to do!

It’s just that if you want to do them, you’ve got to pull it off in a way that doesn’t send all pre-vegans running and screaming from the room.

Contrary to popular opinion, being a bummer doesn’t help animals and it doesn’t help you. It doesn’t help the health and welfare of the people you love and it doesn’t help the planet. If you’re following the “if animals are suffering, I’m suffering too” theme, you might want to rethink that.

New vegans are especially prone to slipping into the Debbie Downer syndrome. The information about the animals, public health, the environment and hunger is devastating. Finding out the world is not what you thought it was fucks with your brain and fucks with your soul.

It’s like you had no idea the house was on fire and now you do know you’ve got to tell everybody! Surely they’ll run out of the house and call the fire department. Surely once they’re aware, they’ll go vegan on the spot.

I was one of those go-vegan-on-the-spot people. Stumbling out of the theater after seeing “Food Inc.” that was it for me. No more animal foods. Then I read the “China Study,” which only cemented my commitment. I thought all I had to do was tell people what I’d found out and they’d instantly go vegan too.

Wrong. It’s also devastating to find out most people including people you really care about don’t want to go vegan, at least not now.

The situation around animal foods is depressing, but there are things you can do, things you must do if you want to better the situation for yourself, animals and the rest of us. Some stuff that sort of works:

* Take up jogging or some other vigorous exercise and try not to wreck your knees or your feet.

* To learn how to act in social situations, study the Japanese tea ceremony.

* Donate yourself to a vegan or animal rights group.

* Read Carol Adams’ book, “Living Amongst Meat Eaters.”

* Repeat to yourself: “Eating a boatload of potato chips and dark chocolate doesn’t fix anything.”

* Be nice.

* If you can’t be nice, start your own blog and call it “Son of Vicious Vegan” or “Vicious Vegan 2” or maybe even “The Vegan Pain in the Ass.”

As vegans who want to change things, it’s so important for us to be happy. Why would a carnist want to go vegan when he sees how miserable veganism seems to be for you? Veganism really is wonderful. It feels good on so many levels. It is OK to enjoy it!

A word about climate change: Currently, I’ve found that there’s now a code for “I’m scared shitless about global warming” and it’s “God, the weather’s gotten weird.” That’s all anyone seems to be able to handle right now.

Whoa. Time to go to the gym.

— A Vicious Vegan blog post —